- Ali
Valentine’s day falls today and is supposedly the day we celebrate our romantic relationships. Most of us would agree that being loved and being able to love is crucial to our happiness but today can be a real trigger for many especially if you’re not in a romantic relationship or have just come out of one.
For me love of one’s self is especially key for happiness so whether you’re in a relationship, looking for one, or saying never again… February is the perfect time to focus on self-love instead of romantic love.
Self-love means having a positive curiosity for your own well-being and happiness. When we embrace an attitude of self-love, we have higher levels of self-esteem, are less critical with ourselves, and are able to celebrate our positive qualities and accept any less positive ones.
And as a side, self-love can lead to more fulfilling and healthy relationships with friends, family and lovers. Whether you’re single, divorced, separated, or blissfully in a relationship, ensuring we have a positive relationship with ourselves is the groundwork for other relationships.
So don’t forget to celebrate yourself.
1. Learn to be compassionate with yourself.
Listen to how you speak to yourself and work on eliminating critical self-talk. Imagine what you would say to a friend or family member in the same situation.
2. Look for and Celebrate your favourite characteristics and celebrate your successes.
Too often we get caught up with thinking about what we don’t like about ourselves. For most of us, recognizing and appreciating our positive qualities and celebrating our successes, no matter how big or small, takes effort and practice. We’re often too quick to criticise ourselves for our mistakes but not quick enough to pat ourselves on the back. Create your own personal list of positive characteristics you love about you and look for a daily thing you did well - even if it's only not burning the toast! Read your list daily and create small ways to celebrate your successes.
3. Enjoy time alone.
Whether it’s joining a yoga class, walking in nature or seeing a movie, learning to enjoy your own company and doing activities you enjoy when you’re alone is crucial for cultivating self-love. Meditation can also be really useful as a self-care tool.
4. Curb social media use.
Scrolling the perfect lives of colleagues or re-visiting an ex’s social media can wreck havoc on our emotions to say nothing of increasing anxiety, depression and envy. If you’re feeling sad, take a break from social media as a form of self-care. This can be especially helpful if you’re feeling low or are coming to terms with the loss of a relationship.
5. Look after your Gut.
When you're feeling low it's all to easy to turn to sugar, alcohol and fatty foods to dampen down our nervous system. Instead look after your gut, the window to your serotonin or happy hormone production, by eating wholefoods that support your overall health and ensure your plate has as much colour as possible.
6. Ask for help or support when needed.
Most of life’s challenges can’t be tackled alone. Allow yourself to seek help from a trusted friend or professional. Seeking help is a form of self-care - we’ve all heard the expression you can’t pour from an empty cup.
7. Stay hopeful.
If this is your first Valentine’s Day being single after a separation, divorce or break-up, expect to feel sad. Make a plan to surround yourself with supportive friends and family or plan time alone doing something you love.
